Delaney Discussion

Would you care to join in the debate? Send me an e-mail.

A word of warning though...if you send a message claiming to be someone who has already had a message posted here, I'll know you're lying. We can't have two people using the same name, now can we? :P

To: All crew members, especially the Delaney sisters -

From: 7 of 9

I fail to see how your discussions of sexual relations and the various physical attributes of the male crew members is relevant to intraship communication. It is a waste of band width and scarce resourses. I have noticed that in your use of this system, you divulge information that you are unwilling to discuss in person. I fail to see the difference, since everyone finds out about it through your "gossip", I believe it is called, on this system.

As to your reference to Cmd. Chakotay and Borg relations, I believe it was on this very system that I read that he had had a sexual relationship with a former drone, so I do not understand what you mean by him thinking, "Borg is Borg to him."

As to my physical attributes, I had no choice in that matter. I am simply composed of the genetic material of my parents. I see no reason to comment on that, nor do I see any reason to comment on the uniform that the doctor replicated for me. It helps me regulate my body temperature and does not interfere with my duties on board *Voyager*. It also covers my skin, a trait on which the members of this ship place an inordinate amount of importance.

To: Delaney, M and Delaney, J

From: Nicoletti, S

It has come to my attention that the two of you are conducting a discussion about the relative merits of the men aboard Voyager. As you are both well aware this is an inappropriate use of resources. I would like to suggest that you broaden your discussion to contain a few more points of view so that we can designate this as a morale raising activity.

Susan

NB with regard to Commander Chakotay, has it occurred to either of you that apart form the Captain, his taste in women seems to run to type (Seska, Reily Frazier) tall, well endowed? - arguably he is a chest man, sorry girls, run off and play.

To: Delaney, Jennifer and Megan

From: 7 of 9

I fail to see how your new archive of rumours can be helpful to the moral of this ship. I have found humans to be reticent about the nature of their mating habits. Will it truly help to have these habits on the ship's computer for all to see? I do not think that Captain Janeway will think that this is an efficient use of our scarce resourses, nor will she be pleased to see the section in which you speculate about the nature of her relationship with Commander Chakotay.

I also encourage you to desist in your speculation about Ensign Kim. I have learned from my interactions with him that he is uncomfortable speaking on the topic of copulation. I doubt that he would be any happier to know that he is centerpiece in your "archive".

To: The Delaney sisters

From: Samantha Wildman

I have to disagree with 7 of 9. I think this is wonderful. All this speculation has me watching everyone I see, now. I'm starting to see things I never noticed before. For instance, I think I saw Ensigns Hickman and Blair getting pretty chummy in the back corner of Sandrines the other night. And, I heard something about our command duo from Neelix the other day. It seems that a certain person who shall remain nameless saw the captain slip out of the commander's quarters at two o'clock this morning. Maybe there's something going on behind those walls after all. I'll keep my eyes open and let you know if I find out anything else.

To: Megan and Jenny Delaney, Samantha Wildman, 7 of 9

From: Crewman Jessica Henley

I know Voyager is a small ship, but really! Idle speculation about members in the senior staff. Come on, already. I had enough coughing spats thinking about Neelix and Kes together. Besides, after that encounter with those space going aliens, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay both became somewhat lenient as regards to shipboard fratenization.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what's going on. First, Tom and B'Elanna. Next, we have Chakotay and the Captain (which really wouldn't be a surprise to me). If there *is* something going on, I wish they'd just come clean about it. It's not as if we'd lynch them. Besides, have you noticed, when Chakotay is happy, the captain is happy.

Happy debating,

Jessica

From: Lt Susan Nicoletti

To: Just about everyone

Jenny and Megan, I told you this would be good for morale! I see Seven of Nine would like us to lay off Harry, perhaps if she took the time to analyse her motives for that suggestion she would learn a little more about human feelings, the urge to be protective for instance.

As for our Commanding officers, it's a nice thought Sam, but forget it. They just don't have that 'look' if you know what I mean, the Captain is way too uptight still. Which is a shame because I'd like to think our commander would really know how to give a girl a good time. Anyone check him out when he's doing his laps? Scientific research of course.

Is Ayala really taken, or have you cast him aside as well? More research I promise.

Susan

To: The Delaney Girls, Samantha Wildman, Seven of Nine

From: Jessica Henley

Subject:How to Keep the men on this ship happy.

With all of us girls, don't you think we could find something other then then the top three men on this ship?

Chakotay has Janeway's brand on him.

Kim has the hots for Seven.

Tom is in the clutches of B'Elanna.

Let's see a comprehensive list, shall we?

Joe Carey

Ayala

Holodoc - I know it's reaching but sarcasm is my weakness

Neelix

Tuvok - yes, he's married, then again, the seven year itch is approaching

Vorik

Baxter

Geron

Chell

Just a beginners list, ladies. I know I've forgotten a few. But from what I can see, Seven has her Borg injectors into at least four of these gentlemen (Doc, Tuvok, Neelix and Kim, don't be shy fellows).

How can we compete with a living doll? Megan, Jenny, I leave this question in your delicate little fingers.

Take Care,

Jessica

(Megan takes this opportunity to point out that her fling with Ayala has been flung, but that Susan now wants to get her claws on him. Joe is still dedicated to his wife, after receiving the letter from her that said she was still waiting for him. As for Tuvok...let's just say Jenny and I are planning to give him a page all of his own...)

To: Delaneys, Sam, Jen et al and la Borg, who I know is reading really. Don't be so stand offish honey, girl talk is good for the soul!

From: Susan Nicoletti

Anyway, thank you for your reasurrance about Ayala - I promise to keep you all posted about developments. I guess, given that I am likely to be busy breaking in a new model I don't have the time to tame the Commander as well - so I guess I'll sign up to help the Captain get laid, but I think we'll have to be more subtle than getting her drunk, we don't want her to be incapable, do we?

Regards as always

Susan

(Megan explains that they aren't getting her drunk to get her laid - they're getting her drunk to find out how she really feels about Chakotay).

To: All female crew members

From: Capt. Janeway

The rumours concerning the Commander and myself have been greatly exaggerated. I realize gossip can be good for morale but I must ask that you cease all speculation concerning the nature of my relationship with Commander Chakotay.

Off the record - he is every bit as good as you imagine. and then some...

(this part of the message will self distruct in 5 seconds)

From: Susan Nicoletti

Jen, stop messing around and pretending to be the Captain - you are not convincing at all, I'm sure she would go into much more detail, if she knew, which I'm willing to bet she doesn't - yet.

I'm glad you and Megan are trying to find out her true feelings before helping her out, it would be too embarrassing, if she were to turn out not to have a thing about him at all. I must admit I have been wondering about her and La Borg these last few months. But I guess it's more a surrogate parent sort of thing. Come to think of it, isn't this just like when you realised your parents had sex? Too weird.

Do you know it occurs to me that we haven't discussed the merits or otherwise of Vulcan men, and then there are Bajorans, ummmm if you ask me nicely I might be persuaded to tell you about Geron and I.

BTW - Ayala and I are having dinner together tonight.

Susan

Sue,

Oooo...good news about you and Ayala. Be sure to let us know how it goes.

And I don't know *what* Jen thinks she's up too. I don't even think it was Jen you know. I think it was someone pretending to be Jen, pretending to be the Captain.

As for Vulcans...do the words Pon Farr mean anything to you? Needless to say, we'll be constructing a page in Tuvok's honour. Seven years of repressed sexual tension is enough to break through even a Vulcan's icy exterior.

Megan
(hey, what's this about you and Geron, huh?)

To: Megan, Jenny, Jessica, Sam, Seven and whomever else

From: Susan Nicoletti

Now I come to think of it maybe Geron is up your street Jess, a bit too intense for me, and if you thought Harry Kim was the baby of the crew let me disabuse you of that opinion right now.

We had one very enjoyable night together - it started when we had to pull an all nighter repairing a load of fragmented computer files. Personally I hadn't even given him a second look, I mean he's cute and all, but I'm not normally into younger men, I like age and experience over youth and enthusiasm - anyway, we were getting hungry and neither of us could face Neelix's food, so I sprang for a pizza, my replicator rations. We'd been sitting on the floor, surrounded by data padds and parts of padds, trying to string together fragmented bits of files and most of my body had gone to sleep. On my way over to the replicator I stretched my arms over my head to loosen up my shoulders and there was this sound - like a gasp. When I looked over he was just looking at me, or rather two parts of my anatomy and he wasn't even making any attempt to hide the effect I was having on him.

I'll admit I'd been feeling frustrated, I mean I'd left a pretty serious relationship behind in the Alpha Quadrant, Niccos and I had even talked about living together, and I missed him, I missed that feeling of anticipation when I knew I was going to see him after I'd been on a mission, I missed waking up with him and all right I'll say it, I missed going to bed with him. And there was Geron looking at me like he'd like to eat me alive. What was a girl to do?

He wasn't a virgin, but I gathered he hadn't been round the block that often, he's a quick learner, I'll say that for him and since he's young he has lots of energy, lots and lots of energy. I don't normally do one night stands, I've never felt powerful afterwards, like your supposed to, just a bit embarrassed and I enjoy the thrill of the chase, seduction, so I guess it was a bit too easy, just kneeling down next to him and starting to take our clothes off. But I did have data padds imprinted onto me for days afterwards.

As I said, not my type, but an interesting young man nevertheless, definitely trainable, if you have the inclination, God knows we've got the time. Which reminds me, what are we going to do about the Captain and Chakotay? I know Tom and co were trying to get them together for a while there, but to be honest Tom has all the delicacy of a sledge hammer, but you'd know more about that than me Jen, care to spill?

And, the rest of you, since I've shared on Geron and me, perhaps a few more of you would like to share, someone other than Tom and B'Elanna must be having sex?

Susan

So *that's* why whenever I see Geron eat pizza he gets the oddest expression on his face...

I have to say I have mixed feelings about one night stands myself. I agree that sometimes afterwards it can just be embarrassing...but at other times it's deliciously wonderful. As long as you're always being careful.

As for Jen and Tom...:) When she gets in from her shift I'll be sure to get her to tell you more.

Re: the Captain and Commander. Well, Prixin is just around the corner now and it's well known that she can't hold her alcohol...so that will probably be the best time to find out how she feels. Of course, some of you girls will have to distract him so he doesn't realise what we're planning with the Captain. It'll be such a hard chore, I'm sure.

Megan

From: Susan Nicoletti

Ohh me me me. I'm a sucker for tall, dark and handsome.

Oh the sacrifices I make in the cause of True Love...

Megan

From: Susan Nicoletti

Meg, I'm sure you'll get a reward, what would you like? Or who?

From: Samantha Wildman

To: The Girls

I agree with Susan. This has to be done delicately. And is there any way to keep KJ out of this loop? How does she find out these things?! And what exactly did she mean by better than we imagined? I'm getting very curious now. Let me in on the planning.

I could always let the commander babysit Naomi. That should keep him busy for a while.

Sam

From: Susan Nicoletti

Oh Sam, no offense to Naomi who is a sweet kid, but I can think of other ways to keep him busy!

To: All female crew members

From: The Captain

I have just learned of a plan to retrieve information from me. I can only assume, in light of the recent gossip, that it concerns myself and Commander Chakotay.

I will say for the record that there is nothing to gain. My fiendship with Commander Chakotay is my private affair. And friendship is all it is.

Off the record - let's just say the jefferies tube on deck 11 section 3 is the best. (this part of the message with self destruct in 5 seconds)

From: Susan Nicoletti

I'm sorry, but I figure the Captain can spell friendship. B'Elanna Torres, if that's you, you owe it to Chakotay to help him get laid.

From: B'Elanna Torres

Doh! Ok you caught me. It is me Torres. I am sorry I just could not resist having a little fun with you guys. Especially after the way you have been dicussing Tom.

After all my engineering expertise I am caught because I cannot spell. Good job. By the way, your secret is safe with me. Chakotay will be easy to get away. He will believe anything I tell him. But the captain might be a little difficult to get drunk. But I am sure we can find a way to exchange the synthehol for the real thing.

Let me know what I can do.

From: Susan Nicoletti

Hey B'Elanna, good to have you on board and we haven't been discussing Tom that much, and by the way tell me all you know about Ayala...

Okay, I think we have just about the entire female contingent on board for this one. Except for the Captain (obviously) and Seven. She needs to learn to loosen up.

And Sam - that's a great idea offering to let Chakotay babysit, but I have to go with Sue on this one. Besides, he'll *want* to attend the Prixin party. We just have to make sure to keep them apart which is why *someone* (coughs and looks at Sue) needs to keep him busy.

B'Elanna - yes! We need you to help too. You're his oldest friend.

Oh, and Sue? Re: your query about who I want. You have heard about Bolians and their cartilage-lined tongues, haven't you?

Megan

From: B'Elanna Torres

To: Susan Nicoletti

I never kiss and tell!!!!

From: Susan Nicoletti

But B'Elanna, it isn't you I want to kiss. And besides you've got Tom now, you wouldn't want us to go into detail about how he spent his time before he discovered you, would you? (smiles sweetly). Besides, I figure that the way to distract Chakotay is to talk to him about my 'ahem' romantic difficulties. All right strictly speaking it is true that Ayala wasn't difficult to persuade to have dinner with me, but the Commander doesn't need to know that, and if he gets to look down my cleavage at the same time, so much the better.

By the way, we'll have to nobble Tuvok as well.

Happy to oblige, but then you've probably worked that out already!

You can not be serious about Bolians, are you serious Meg?

Absolutely. It's amazing what they can do with their tongues...did Jen ever tell you about our trip to Risa?

Actually, I think that may deserve a page all on it's own.

Megan

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