by Suz email@example.com
Disclaimer - "Invaders! Invaders!" yelled Satan's Robot as he was assimilated by the Para-Borg.
This story comes with a sappiness warning. Those who do not want to read something sickly sweet should avoid.
"What are you doing?"
My body tenses instinctively as I hear her voice and just as quickly I try to relax my muscles but she's already seen my shoulders tighten, already heard my quiet exclamation of surprise. That doesn't stop me from trying to hide what I'm doing.
Smiling broadly despite the inner fear I subtly turn the padd over and angle my neck around to lock eyes with the woman who's trying to peek over my shoulder. "Good morning," I say pleasantly.
In response she moves around and pushes me further away from the desk so she can place her rear across my thighs and sit comfortably. Resting across my lap now, she leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips before speaking. "Yes, it *is* a good morning."
I wrap my arms around her. "You're getting to be quite the silent mover. Are you sure you don't own a cloaking device?"
She lowers her face towards mine and almost rubs noses. "I was operating on stealth mode..."
"Ah. That explains it."
Nodding wisely, she struggles not to smile. "It's a new technology Seven has been working on."
"Of course. Seven."
"Of course." I can see as she thinks internally, studying explanations for how such a technology could work. "It's quite simple really. She discovered that by altering the phase variance-"
She sees the kiss coming before it does, but lets it happen away. As I move my head back we're both smiling again.
"It's much too early in the morning to be discussing subjects as complex as Seven."
"Good point Chakotay. That subject is to be saved until at least 3pm, when I've managed to consume at least ten cups of coffee."
Shaking my head in slight disgust I study her face closely. "Shouldn't you look like a giant coffee bean by now?"
Chuckling, she kisses the tip of my nose. "Nope. That's for *real* obsessees. The kind of people who have made shrines to coffee, or keep tabs on exactly how many cups of coffee they can eke out of their replicator rations."
As I raise my eyebrows at her she quickly looks away.
"Besides, that doesn't matter." She looks back. "You're changing the subject."
She speaks again. "Do I have to get Tuvok in here to get a confession out of you?"
I'm as stubborn as she is. "He won't get a single word."
"Really? Then how 'bout I get B'Elanna in here to give you an extremely detailed report of her sex life with Tom Paris?"
Scrunching up my face in absolute disgust, I can feel some of my defence shattering. But I remain firm. "I'd *love* to hear all about that Kathryn." I've never uttered a sentence that's been more difficult to say.
Her smirk quite clearly proves that she doesn't believe me. She continues. "Then I guess there's nothing else I can do to persuade you..." Sighing dramatically she rests her head on my shoulder. Worried that she might try and use her own 'weapons' to persuade me, I start thinking up contingency plans that would get her off me as quickly as possible.
I needn't worry, as it turns out.
She has something else in mind.
"By the way...did I mention that I'm putting you up as Neelix's next guinea pig? Rumour has it he has twenty nine new leola root recipes he wants to try out-"
"Gods Kathryn, there's no need to torture me!"
Sitting up again, she smiles defiantly. "Then tell me what I want to know."
Removing one hand from her side, I rub it over my face. "I was writing," I admit quietly.
Frowning, I can tell she's trying to figure out why I would be embarrassed about it. "Writing?"
I might as well just get it out. "About you."
Her eyes go wide. "Me?"
I nod. "You're quite...inspirational."
The smile returns, bigger than ever. That childlike curiousity has returned to her features. "Can I read it?"
"Please?" she asks. "I suppose I can understand you being a little shy, but it's not like I've never written anything about yo-" As she realises what she let slip her eyes go even wider than before and she struggles to get off my lap. "Maybe I should give Neelix a hand with those recipes-"
Grabbing onto her firmly, I grin. "You're staying right where you are, Ms Janeway."
Glaring at me, she stops struggling but crosses her arms over her chest and raises her chin. Her body language is quite clearly saying "you ain't getting nothing"
Like that's ever stopped me before.
"You've been writing about me?"
Not wanting to answer my question, she glances at me from the corner of her eye.
I know that Neelix or other similar threats won't work on her - she has a stronger constitution. But I know without a doubt something that will work.
"Kathryn, if you don't tell me I'm going to have to..." Letting the unspoken threat linger in the air, it takes a few moments for it to settle into her consciousness and realisation to set it.
Turning her head to look at me, she opens her mouth in horror. "You wouldn't..."
Never dare a Maquis.
Within seconds she's screaming as I tickle her mercilessly in the one spot that I know drives her mad. Managing to pull away from me she soon lands on the floor but I'm on her a second later, continuing the attack as she screams even louder.
Someone's com badge beeps. Then I realise it has to be mine as I'm the only one in uniform.
"Torres to Chakotay."
We still instantly, me straddling on top of her and holding her wrists at her sides.
"Chakotay here," I respond, trying not to sound out of breath.
"Is everything alright in there? I was just walking by your quarters and I thought I heard...well, screaming."
Kathryn starts snorting as she tries to stop herself from laughing, and I release her wrists.
"Thanks B'Elanna, but everything's fine. Just a little...horseplay."
"Sounds like horsemurder."
"Very funny Lieutenant. Goodbye."
"Yeah," she laughs. "Goodbye. Have fun. Torres out."
She closes the com line and I look down at Kathryn. "Well?"
Rolling her eyes, she concedes. "But only if you get off me. You know I normally like to have our positions reversed."
Do I ever.
I move off and we remain lying on the floor for a while, looking up at the ceiling.
Eventually she speaks. "It's in my personal database."
"What is it?"
"I suppose...it's not a story..."
"An essay?" I joke.
She says nothing. I blink. "You wrote an essay about me?"
Smiling, I roll towards her and grab her hand. "That's sweet."
She rolls her eyes as if I couldn't have possibly said anything else that could be more disgusting. "Sweet? I'm *sweet*?"
"Adorable," I insist.
"What did you write?" she asks loudly, still staring at the ceiling.
Turning her head she grins at me. "I didn't know you wrote before today."
"I could say the same."
"So do I get to read your poetry?"
"Do I get to read your essay?"
"Later," she whispers, holding my other hand and moving her body on top of mine.
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Suz's Voyager Fanfic