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It hasn't been a problem before. I've always been the one making the contact, always been the one with the control. For reassurance, comfort, and yes, sometimes even to get my own way. To bend his will.
Every woman has tools that she uses to manipulate a man. This is mine. This is no different.
He keeps making contact. I don't know if it's accidental or calculated, but he seems to be doing it a hell of a lot more than he used to. Actually, he never used. Occasionally there would be a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but the material of my uniform would be between us.
Is he...testing the waters, so to speak? Seeing what kind of reaction he's going to get? I think I'm managed marvellously well, so far. Hardly any reaction at all. I'm really quite proud of myself. I haven't sworn or hit him yet. Which is perhaps a little odd, because I still don't know how he managed to touch my face and still make it seem accidental.
Quite talented, that man. Has obviously been planning this for a while.
But I certainly didn't become captain of an Intrepid class Starship by wilting every time my First Officer touches my skin. He'll have to do a lot better than that if he expects anything.
Unfortunately, as I discover shortly, he gets his opportunity.
It's the strangest thing. We're in my ready room. I'm merely moving from one side of the room to the other to accept a PADD from him...when I suddenly lack the ability to walk. It's as if my legs forget how to move properly and I promptly trip over my own feet. Landing in a very undignified pose on the floor, I stare up at him. I can't tell which of us is the most surprised. I'm certainly shocked as hell. And he looks just the same.
Tossing the PADD to one side, he carefully bends at the knees and studies my face, silently questioning.
"I'm fine, thank you. Although I do feel rather absurd."
Chuckling, he offers to help me up.
"Thank you," I reply, shifting slightly.
He moves and somehow - I still have absolutely no idea how - as he starts to help me, his hand slips behind my head and his fingers caress one of the only spots on my body that can turn me into mush. I moan and slip through his grasp as if it wasn't even there, my head softly hitting the carpeted floor again.
He apologises as if it was entirely his fault - which it was really - and this time he maintains a stronger grip but it happens, again. His fingers brush against that area and...
It burns my skin.
God, I'm shivering.
God, this is horrendous.
God, this is wonderful.
Do you know how many years it's been since anyone has touched that part of me?
Too many. But it happens now - possibly accidental, possibly not - and all I can do is lie there, my eyes closed, my body incapable of doing anything other than breathing.
His fingers are still touching my neck. I can feel his breath close to my face. "Kathryn?"
My eyes are still closed...we're barely doing anything but I am getting incredibly turned on by my First Officer.
*My* *First* *Officer*.
I try to ram the objections into my mind, but his fingers flutter over my skin again and any thoughts of rebelling against my natural instincts dissipate.
I try to say something - an objection, a name, a plea - but all I seem to be able to do after opening my mouth is moisten my lips. I'm not trying to invite him, really I'm not. It's just that I can't stop myself.
I hear movement. I feel his other hand rest on my stomach. He rubs, slightly. Wrapping his hand securely around my neck, he lifts my upper body to a forty-five degree ankle.
My eyes are still closed.
Then the hand that had been resting on my stomach moves to under my knees, and he picks me up.
Surprised, my eyes snap open and I stare at him as he stares back at me, all the time carefully carrying me over to the couch. Once there, he places me down gently, removes both hands, and walks out of my ready room.
All I can do for the first ten seconds is to stare at the doors, blinking. How could he just walk out? He *must* have known...
Oh, God. That's why. He didn't want to. It's been too long.
Standing up, I stumble a little and catch my weight on the railing of the upper level. At the very least we should discuss this situation and try to resolve it, rather than just ignoring it and pretending it never happened. Decisively, I take a step down to the lower level and intend to hit my com badge-
-when he barges back into the ready room, gaze intense, body heaving with barely contained energy.
He stops within breathing distance. And looks at me.
"Touch me," I whisper, the words out so suddenly and unexpectedly that I surprise myself. I don't regret it. Not for a single moment.
He says nothing, extending his hand to grasp one of mine, and he leads me over to the couch. I sit quickly, at an angle, and he sits behind me, his face aimed towards my back. Unhooking my uniform top, I shrug it off. His hands rest on my shoulders briefly before I feel them trace a path to the zipper of my undershirt which he slowly, deliberately, unzips.
I feel the air as he exposes the skin of my back, but he doesn't remove the undershirt completely, leaving it covering my front.
He traces lights paths over my back with his fingers and my eyes close. He finally, finally, lowers his mouth to the back of my neck.
He burns my skin.
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Suz's Voyager Fanfic