by Suz firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer - Paramount own them...
You had been missing for so long. I had spent the last six years working with you, watching you, discovering that every day you were losing another part of the person you were. The consequences of being a Starfleet Captain perhaps, but I doubt it. It's simply because you are you.
I've known plenty of other Captains and while most of them try to keep a distance between them and their crew, no one became so immersed in their task that they lost themselves.
You had been gone now for almost three years.
Egotistical as it is, I can't help thinking that it's partially my responsibility. I don't regret my decision to stand by my opinion when we faced the Borg; all I regret is the difference we let it make to our relationship, such as it was.
There have been so many memorable events, mostly a collage of instants where you smiled, laughed, touched me.
I can't remember the last time you touched me.
I can't remember the last time you laughed and it was sincere.
I remember perfectly the last time you smiled.
They happen so rarely now.
I should have had a dozen questions. I should have had a dozen refusals. It was too late, I had moved on, given up hope such a long time ago.
I had told myself these things a million times. When I watched you become less of yourself every day, I told myself there was nothing I could do that would make a difference, nothing I could say to change what was happening.
Yet last night...when you told me you had changed your mind...there was no doubt. I looked at you, *looked* at you. This was what you really wanted. This wasn't going to be one night, this wasn't going to be about simple gratification.
I knew I would have questions later, but as I touched your face with the back of my hand and watched you laugh with starlight reflecting in your eyes, I knew you were back.
You were found. You were you. You were Kathryn.
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Suz's Voyager Fanfic