The Drag Race

by Suz

Disclaimer - they belong to Paramount, and I'd *love* to see them dressed like this on Voy...

Follows on from 'Denial And Drag Racing'.

Okay, I had a really bad day so I *needed* to write this.

Rated R, just in case.


Perhaps not surprisingly, it didn't take much convincing at all to persuade Tom and Harry to have a go at Neelix's own form of 'drag' racing. Harry thought it would be good fun, and it wasn't as if Megan was there to witness anything.

Tom, for his part, had dressed up in women's clothes before. The first occasion had been a necessity - he was trying to escape from the authorities at the time - but subsequently he had tried it just for the heck of it and discovered he enjoyed it. The only downside to it was that B'Elanna would moan at him because he insisted on wearing the heels when they had sex. Apparently they cut into her body at the most inconvenient places. He didn't know quite *why* she was complaning - she liked painful sex much the same as other Klingons.

He lost that train of thought when a ladder appeared in his tights. "Dammit," he muttered, wondering if he should replicate some clear nail varnish or just leave it.

"Leave it Tom," Harry advised him as he looked down at his friends legs "we'll be here all day if we keep replicating a new pair of tights or nail varnish every time one of us gets a ladder."

The man had a point, and Tom reached up a hand so Harry could help pull him up. Soon he was standing, balancing confidently on his three-inch gold high heels, his matching gold chiffon dress clinging deliciously to every curve. If B'Elanna could see him now...she'd probably tell him to get changed. Either that or rip off his outfit in an enthusiastic effort to get to what she called his 'love nuts'. Not a very flattering term, he thought, but it was better than her last nickname. 'Tiny tomatoes' was enough to worry anyone.

Reaching out his own hand to Tom's arm, Harry steadied himself. It was the first time he had worn women's clothing and wasn't finding it easy to accommodate the cumbersome outfit Neelix had designed for him. Why *he* had the honour of wearing the platform shoes, ankle length dress and love beads was anyone's guess. With a flick of his long, lucious brown hair, he stumbled over towards Neelix who was folding their uniforms carefully and placing them behind the partition. Unfortunately that particular pose showed a bit too much of his rear end, but the ensign decided not to mention it.

Swearing as he overstepped and twisted his right ankle, his hair nearly fell off and he quickly pushed the wig back into place. "Neelix, do you really think this is fair? I mean, you and I are new to this, but it's clear that Tom's had quite a lot of practice."

In response Tom strutted passed him, advancing towards the partition and tucking a strand of his red curly hair behind his ear. "What's the matter Harry?" Turning his head back to look at the young man, he pouted. "Can't handle the competition?"

The moment was ruined as he walked into the partition.

Harry snorted with laughter. "That'll teach you to look where you're strutting."

Neelix stood and watched as Tom rubbed his nose and Harry caressed his love beads. "You may be on to something here Mr about you and I take off our breasts but Tom has to keep his on?"

Happily agreeing, Harry reached up and under his multi-coloured top and undid the clips at the front of his bra. Immediately his 'breasts' - two large pears - plopped to the ground and he sighed in relief.

Asking for some help, Neelix pulled his dress up and the others began to undo and pull away the medical dressings despite the gruesome sight before them.

A few minutes later the medical dressings were removed completely and the melons hit the grass.

Tuvok, Vorik, and the EMH, who had declined the offer to join them, watched from the edge of the field. All would help to decide the winner. Tuvok began to walk towards the end of the running track.

All three contestants hobbled over to the track which consisted of white lines drawn on the grass. Thankfully it wasn't particularly muddy, something that Tom knew from experience could play havoc with your ability to walk in high heels, never mind run in them.

"This is where you'll start from," the EMH informed them "the winner is the first to reach the end of the track."

They nodded their understanding.

By now Tuvok had reached the end and held up his hand to indicate that he was ready.

"Okay everyone..." announced Doc "get into your positions."

All three hunched down slightly, pulled their skirts up to make it easier to run, and balanced their weight on the balls of their feet.

Tom leant forward.

"On your mark," stated Vorik.

Neelix broke wind.

"Get set," continued the Vulcan.

Harry laughed.

"Go!" exclaimed Doc.

The race began.

Tom quickly and expectedly took the lead, his frequent use of female clothing giving him an almost natural talent that aided him. However, as the race progressed, several factors began to become detrimental to his performance.

One; his breasts started coming loose. And two; his gold leopard-skin panties were beginning to vanish up his butt crack, chaffing in the most uncomfortable manner.

Reaching down with his right hand to try and fish the panties out of their new home, he had to slow down. Harry and Neelix soon passed him, more or less tied with Harry only slightly in the lead.

Jogging heartily and trying to keep his feet right in the middle of his shoes so he wouldn't go off balance, Harry gasped when he felt his hair move again. Angry, he pulled the wig back into place again and vowed he'd have a word with Neelix about wig quality when this was all over.

After a few more feet Harry realised why he had been given the long skirt. It kept getting caught around his legs, forcing him to slow down. Neelix had *planned* this. Why that devilish little Talaxian...he wouldn't be surprised if Neelix had actually planned Janeway's death all along.

Within a matter of moments, a grinning Neelix passed him, blue high heels pounding into the dirt with pride, no doubt trying to ignore the blisters that had to be forming on his feet.

His pride was shortlived as Tom caught up with him, leaving Harry at the rear of the race.

"How..?" Neelix managed to gasp out as they neared the finishing line.

Tom lifted a finger as he passed by and Neelix saw that Tom's panties were hanging from it. "Woo hoo!" Tom yelled, swinging the underwear around on his finger.

Returning their attention back to winning the race, they all did their best to run even faster, trying to push any thoughts of retribution out of their head to concentrate on the matter at hand.

The red-head stumbled slightly.

The brunette caught up.

The blonde neared the finishing line.

Someone tripped and all three crashed into each other as they finished the race.

An assorted pile of grass-stained limbs and body parts groaned in near-unison.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Neelix. "I've lost a nail!"

"Oh thank *God*," Harry enthused "I wondered what the hell was pushing into my butt."

Tom laughed nervously. "Um, actually..."


But likely to be continued...

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