The Neelix Claus - Neelix The Red Faced Talaxian

by Suz

Disclaimer - Holy Paramount, Silent Paramount...

For Diamond, Claire, Rook, Willow, and everyone else who encouraged me.



After having captured their prisoner Kathryn and the recently recovered Chakotay dragged the purple-stained Talaxian until they came upon something that would help them continue their punishment.

A cabin. A refuge from the cold weather and snow. No doubt Neelix had never envisioned it being used as a place where they would shame him, but he had to suffer. Both the Captain and Commander were in a particularly sadistic mood by now, especially Janeway. She didn't appreciate being played for a fool by anyone. Not even for a 'good cause' such as romance.

They threw him next to the fire as they stumbled through the doorway, her hair whipping around her face. Slamming the door shut the sounds of their gasps echoed through the wooden room as they all tried to regain their breath. Neelix, who had been in the snow simulation the longest, happily remained by the fire, although he frowned as he noticed some paint dripping from his nose and splatting on the floor. Reaching up with a shaky hand he removed his goggles, trying not to groan at the bruises the paint pellets had caused over his body. He knew he deserved this but the knowledge certainly didn't make it easier.

The smell of freshly burnt wood filled the room from where the fire crackled. Not so much as to be smoggy, but just enough that it tickled at the nose and pleased the senses. As much as she loved the snow, Kathryn was relieved to be warm. Walking over to the table and chair next to the window she stared out at the snowy vista briefly before placing the rifle on the table. Neelix's sigh of relief was audible and unmistakable.

Kathyrn smiled.

Turning her back towards the window she nearly jumped when she found Chakotay standing in front of her, but this time she was able to hide her reaction. It wouldn't do at all for Neelix to see a weakness in her at this moment.

Chakotay's dark eyes seemed to be smiling. "What shall we do with him?"

Kathryn sucked on the inside of her right cheek and glanced at the ceiling. "Hmm...good question. Well there are many *many* possibilities..." her eyes locked back onto his "...but something tells me you have a suggestion."

This time his mouth matched the smile in his eyes. "I know you want to do this by yourself, and I'll let you...but I do have an idea..."


She applauded his idea once she saw it in action. She'd like the suggestion of course, but to actually see was wonderful.

"It's the best Christmas present I could ever have hoped for. I thought the compression phaser rifle was a terrific present...but this might be even better."

He laughed slightly in response.

They moved closed to the fire as Chakotay laid a blanket he had found in a chest in the corner of the room on the floor. It would help protect them against the hard floor, and both were a little damp anyway so it would soak up any water.

Sitting to Chakotay's left, Kathryn looked up at her present again as it looked down at her with resignation. For three feet above the fireplace, Neelix's head hung on the wall.

He wasn't dead of course - the whole thing was a holographic illusion and the safeties were most definitely on. But Chakotay had programmed the wall to go around Neelix's neck, effectively making it look as if he had beheaded. This also provided a bonus - he couldn't move. And as a special treat, he had been gagged.

Chakotay spoke softly. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," she replied, the quietness of her words somehow at odds with the situation they were in.

Smiling once more, Chakotay spoke. "Computer: play audio selection 'Chakotay beta five'."

A familiar tune filled the air, and as Kathryn heard the specially altered words she laughed freely for the first time in five years. Leaning against Chakotay's shoulder and sighing happily, she was utterly unaware of the the smile that appeared on the Talaxian's face even through his gag, as he realised he had received what he had been trying to achieve in the first place.

Neelix roasting on an open fire

Aliens begging at your toes

Fearful eyebrows, raising up even higher

And folks laughing loudly at his nose

Everybody knows, men with iris' of yellow

Always hide away in fright

Tiny men, with their eyes all aglow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Kathy's on her way

She's loaded lots of phaser guns to make them pay

And every Rinax boy is gonna spy

To see if today's the day they're gonna die

And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To kids from one to ninety-two

Although it's been said many times, many ways,

Merry Christmas to you

Music and Lyric (more or less) by Mel Torme and Robert Wells

(C) 1946, Renewed 1974 Edwin H. Morris and Company, a division of MPL Communications, Inc. (ASCAP)

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Suz's Voyager Fanfic