A System Of Inconvenience

by Suz suzvoy@tesco.net

Disclaimer - Paramount: Parrots having sex without tea.

This is partly my idea, partly Rani's idea, and partly a response to the bathroom challenge on asc.

This isn't a J/C story. It's not anti-J/C, it's just not J/C.

Okay...Bride of Chaotica...set sometime after the briefing room scene but before Arachnia appears...


The door beeped. Someone was requesting entry. Setting aside the PADD that he had only just returned to because of his last interruption, he spoke.


Lieutenant Nicoletti was revealed as the doors hissed open. She appeared to be particularly anxious about something as she moved restlessly on the spot. While it was not a personal habit he shared, he was all too aware of its significance.

"Ah," she began. "You're in. Good."

He steepled his fingers together carefully as he examined her from his chair. "How so, Lieutenant?"

She looked rather embarrassed but continued despite this. "Well Commander, Chapman told me that yours was still working and I was wondering-"

"Yes," he interrupted, saving her from explaining further.

"Yes yours is working or yes I can use it?" she asked, frowning.

"My answer would be appropriate to either question, but you may use it."

"Oh thank you!" she exclaimed, much too loudly and emotionally than he was comfortable with, but he said nothing as the Lieutenant quickly made her way to the bathroom.

Several minutes later she had still not emerged and Tuvok was considering politely enquiring to whether she required assistance. He was prevented from doing so when the door beeped once more. Again placing the PADD aside, he called for the visitor to enter. Ensign Ayala stepped inside.

The Ensign must have been in great physical discomfort to come to his quarters. He had not been particularly fond of Tuvok since the security officer had caught him taking certain privileges with a replicator that he shouldn't have. Still, the Captains punishment of reduction in rank from Lieutenant to Ensign seemed appropriate.

"You know why I'm here Commander," Ayala stated bluntly.

"Yes," Tuvok responded calmly.


"Of course you may, although you may wish to wait a few moments. It is currently occupied."

Nodding his understanding, Ayala remained where he was, standing stiffly to attention. Tuvok merely returned to reading his PADD.

Several moments later Lieutenant Nicoletti entered the room, smiling brightly and looking very much relieved. Tuvok purged his mind of any images that reaction might conjure up.

"Again, thank you Commander," she added one last time.

He nodded once.

Making her way to the doors she winked at the other visitor. "Ayala."

"Sue," he smiled despite himself as she left Tuvok's quarters and he made his way towards the bathroom. As that door opened he stumbled back slightly before recovering, placing a hand over his nose, and diving in.

Lieutenant Commander Tuvok was disturbed by recent events. The gravimetric forces disrupting Voyager's control systems had now reached such levels that his was the only functioning lavatory. While he of course understood the crews need for access to a bathroom, the situation was proving most inconvenient. The near-constant interruptions were reducing the efficiency of his work, and...the constant use of his bathroom was producing some most offensive odours.

Such odours were a naturally occurring biological fact and were something that anyone who lived in a community accepted. However, he did not expect to encounter such odours so frequently.

But, he was Vulcan. And crewmembers could hardly be chastised for participating in a simply biological function that they had no control over. He would endure. Besides, he knew that the Captain would soon be undercover on the holodeck. She would waste no time in bringing their situation to an end.

Ensign Ayala emerged soon after and Tuvok was left alone in his quarters.

For all of thirty seconds.

This time the visitor was Crewman Chell.

Picking up his PADD, Tuvok spoke before the Bolian could.

"Please," Tuvok insisted, indicating the bathroom with the PADD "Use as you wish."

As Chell thanked him enthusiastically, Tuvok left his quarters and considered contacting Commander Chakotay regarding having his quarters reassigned.


Sign My Guestbook.

Suz's Voyager Fanfic