...Date That's *Never* Gonna Happen
by Suz suzvoy@tesco.net

Disclaimer - MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.

Spoilers for 'Nightwalkers' and 'Shadow Play', but actually set after 'Descent'. Sequel to 'Late For An Important...'.

One more piece of silliness before I get back to my WiP (ah, but *which* WiP?).


Firmly clutching Major Carter's report, Jonas Quinn strode along the corridor. Since visiting the commissary earlier, Teal'c had retreated to perform - in his own words - 'exercise', despite the lateness of the hour - of perhaps because of it. Who knew? Maybe being a Jaffa meant that it was beneficial for him to do these things at what would be considered unusual times for humans.

As for himself, Jonas had decided to deliver the report that had been left behind to Colonel O'Neill's office. Though Teal'c had told him that the Colonel wouldn't be going on his date, he wanted to make sure the report was somewhere O'Neill could find it easily.

The whole conversation in the commissary had confused him immensely. When the Colonel's plans had been revealed he'd seemed incredibly guilty, not to mention looking like he really hadn't wanted to discuss it. Jonas could understand; he supposed that, as leader of SG-1, O'Neill might want to keep his personal and professional lives separate.

The only problem with that theory was that, as far as Jonas knew, no member of SG-1 had much of an existence outside the SGC. In fact, the Colonel's earlier reference to the friend who had suggested this date was so notable that he almost remembered that most of all out of the entire bizarre discussion.

Before today, not once had any of them mentioned friends that they either didn't work with, or hadn't become their friends as a result of the Stargate project.

On Kelowna, it wasn't the same at all. He'd had a wide group of friends; some he'd known since childhood, some since university, some through work, and others through sheer chance encounter.

And he'd left all of them behind - his friends, his family - for their own sake. Though they may not have been aware of it, he was doing this to protect them.

Still, that hadn't made his life here easy. He frequently thought about his people; what they were doing now, how was the threat of war progressing? Had the naquadriah bomb been perfected?

He hoped not, but had to acknowledge that if anyone were capable it was Dr Friesen - one of his closest friends, and mentors.

Determined to shake off these decidedly depressing thoughts, he focused on his journey. Around a corner, straight past-

"Come on, will you open the door?"

Colonel O'Neill's voice. Frowning, Jonas' pace slowed and he peered around the corridor junction he'd just been ready to walk past. Beyond that corner, he knew, was SG-1's locker room.

As expected he saw Colonel O'Neill.

As *not* expected the Colonel was talking to the closed door of the locker room. "Please? I wanna talk to you."

Considering whether or not to announce his presence, Jonas hesitated. As his initial comment in the commissary had clearly caused him some embarrassment - although Jonas had no idea why - O'Neill might not be too pleased to see him.

"We have nothing to talk about," A different voice replied, muffled through the door. Jonas frowned again. Major Carter? Hadn't she said she was going to her lab?

"Of course we do," O'Neill responded. "I'm not going out with that...woman."

"Why do you think that would interest me?"

"Dammit, Carter!" The aggravation was obvious; he kept swinging his left arm around and now the hand that was part of that arm rubbed over his face. "Am I gonna have to chase you around this entire base before you'll talk to me?"

"No," She replied, and in further response the door to the locker room unlocked and opened. "Because I'm leaving." She stepped out, obviously have changed into civilian clothes - black leather pants, a red top, and holding a jacket in her hands.

She looked good.

Colonel O'Neill immediately started after her, running a few steps to catch up. Fortunately they were walking away from him, so Jonas merely backed up a few paces, having the feeling that this time he shouldn't interfere.

Once sure that he was far enough behind so they wouldn't notice him, he headed off after them - all the while trying to stay hidden.

He did wonder, briefly, if this were morally correct...but it was like watching an accident. He couldn't look away.

"Look, Carter..."

"Sir, really." She shrugged, holding her jacket away from her body. "I don't know why you feel the need to keep going on about this. Enjoy yourself. Have a good time."


"It's not like you owe me anything; we're teammates - that's all. Just like you and Teal'c or you and Jonas. I don't see you running after them to explain yourse-"


They were nearly at the elevator now, and Jonas hid behind the latest corner, risking as little of his head as possible to try and see what was actually happening.

She'd stopped, evidently taken a few steps back, and was staring at O'Neill.

"Look," The Colonel said, pointing his index fingers towards the ceiling. "I am not going on this 'date', okay? No matter how much you tell me it doesn't matter, or that I should just go and enjoy myself," He leaned towards her. "I am *not* going."

She hadn't moved, but spoke quietly. "Won't your friend be disappointed?"

O'Neill shrugged. "Well, yeah...but frankly you're a hell of a lot scarier than he is."

Even as she laughed at the admission, Jonas was frowning. Why would he be worried by the Major's reaction to discovering he had a date? In fact, now that he thought about it, this whole situation - from the moment his plans had been revealed, and everything up until now - had all the indications that Colonel O'Neill didn't want Major Carter to think he was seeing anyone.

She spoke again, still smiling. "I'll have you know that I am not that scary."

Why would he be bothered by what she thought?

"That's debatable," O'Neill quipped. "However, I happen to know that *I* can be scary, and I also know how I'd..." His words began to peter out and often disappear altogether, as if he'd only just realised what he was going to say. "...you know, if our, um, situations were kind of, well, you know..."





"Well if that's the word you want to use, feel free."

"Don't over commit yourself, sir."

How had he managed not to notice this? Then again...he'd never really had a chance to witness just the two of them. Alone. With no one else around and no idea that anyone was watching.

"Look who's talking. Did I not follow you up to your lab, then all the way back down to the locker room and bang on the door for five minutes?" He paused, realising what he'd just let slip - even though she must have known all that already, verbalising it was quite different. "Which is neither here nor there. Excuse me. I suddenly have the need to pee."

"Hey," She interrupted, before he could make his escape. And from the expression on his face, he wanted to make one very badly. "You don't have to..." Closing her eyes, she found the words she was searching for. "You can be very...sweet, sometimes."

O'Neill looked as though he'd trodden in something particularly disgusting. "'Sweet'? Geez, why not just tell me I have a really nice personality while you're at it?"

"And you don't have to turn everything into a joke, either." She lifted her eyebrows meaningfully. "You know very well what I meant. You just can't take a compliment."

"Not true," He objected, while studying his feet. "I know for a fact that I'm *hot*."

She laughed again, despite herself. "Stop it,"

"Can't. I like it when you smile." Once again, it was obvious he hadn't meant to say that, but it was out now and couldn't be taken back. Jonas was fascinated. Maybe this held the key to finally understanding them...

Sighing, she looked up at him. "That's what I'm talking about." A pause, then she continued. "Don't worry about me. Go. Even if you don't hit it off, you can't just stand her up. We do have to think of the poor woman you're supposed to be meeting tonight."

His shoes were still fascinating, but occasionally that head of grey hair would lift up to sneak a glance. "You think she has any idea what she's letting herself in for?"

"Probably not," the Major had to admit. "But if your friend knows you as well as he should, I'm sure she can handle you."

"But I want *you* to handl...okay, I'm just gonna shove my foot in my mouth and be done with it, okay?" He couldn't possibly look more embarrassed.

She said nothing about that, instead smiling again and nodding towards the end of the corridor. "Walk me to the elevator?"

"Sure," O'Neill declared, happy to get away from his previous topic of conversation. "I'll walk you the...ten feet to the elevator."

Within a matter of seconds, they were there. She swiped her pass, and the two of them stood on either side of the closed doors. Jonas peered further around the corner, searching for all the things he'd missed before.

Well, this had been incredibly informative, though there was still a lot of information he had to gather. Nonetheless, Teal'c had been right. Given time, he'd learned.

And here came something else that was interesting.



"Ask you a question?" He kept looking straight ahead, at the wall.

"Sure." She looked at him.

"When did you get leather pants?"


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