Disclaimer - MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.
'Abyss' episode addition. Spoilers for 'Divide and Conquer' and 'Abyss'. It’s very short, it ends suddenly, and I don’t even know what I think of it.
*
"If I go back, I swear to God, I'll give Ba'al what he wants. I'll tell him."
"What?"
"That he loved her."
"Kanan?"
*
He wanted to save her.
It was a simple statement: one that didn't necessarily have any meaning. They'd worked together, planned together - risked their lives together.
This was no different.
At least, that was what he was trying to tell himself.
And it wasn't until the moment - that one moment - where he was faced with the spectre of her death, of her dying, and him being forced to watch...that this was different.
That he loved her.
It hadn't been part of the plan; if anything it complicated the plan because that kind of thing really wasn't supposed to happen.
They'd been in Ba'al's quarters when it happened. Searching his personal access screen, looking for the plans to the compound. They'd barely managed to obtain a copy of them when the door opened. She'd moved before he'd even had time to think, hiding him in a place she wasn't supposed to know about, even as Lotar.
From there he could see everything without being seen, and he observed - horrified but not surprised - as Ba'al entered.
The excuses came flying out of her mouth; to him they didn't sound the least bit convincing, and he was sure Ba'al would hear the same. Yet he couldn't do anything because he was *Tok'ra*: the information he carried, the mission was more important.
Even more important than her.
So he'd watched, terrified, helplessly as Ba'al lifted up his hand...
...only to point to something he wanted moved.
It was the relief that made him realise it; how deep it had gone already, when she was supposed to be nothing more than a helper - maybe a friend.
So when she came to look for him, he was already gone. Sneaking out of the compound the same way she had gotten him in, running to the Chappa’ai – splashing through puddles of mud, grass, trees, all the while convincing himself that he was doing the right thing. If she disappeared with him, Ba'al would know without a doubt that they had the information. The longer they could hide that fact from him, the more use it would be.
He just had to hope that she would live until Ba'al had been defeated.
Ironically, he died first.
Or more accurately, his host did.
And it was after he blended with his new host that the real trouble started.
His mind was strong, despite the low opinion he had of himself. His strength of character combined with the fact that he didn't want to be a Tok'ra would have normally ensured that the blending would have been most difficult, but he was weak; almost fragile.
So it was after a scant rebellion that he slipped into his mind.
The first sensation was the pain. Clutching at his throat, trying to close his airways.
A virus.
He began eradicating it, a talent he'd known how to use since he first came into being. Adjusting components so small that they might not even exist, but were so important that they had to.
The second sensation was the hand, holding onto his new host. Wrapping around his fingers, rubbing lightly.
The second shared memory was never leaving anyone behind.
The first was wanting to save her.
~FINIS