The Other Side -
Odo goes splat! This could be an episode of DS9...

Upgrades -
Sam has really atrocious hair. Janet bitch-slaps Anise. Something happens in this episode that we won't find out about for another two episodes. How cool is that?

Crossroads -
Teal'c gets lucky with a gal who was in the running for the role of Anise. Which explains her outfit. Tanith is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

Divide and Conquer -
Jack plays with his yoyo although we all wish Sam would, Anise makes her move, Astor redecorates the base with her brain, and the cat is out of the bag. Another one bites the dust.

Window of Opportunity -
RDA's Legend guest star causes trouble. Jack gets to do whatever he wants - which turns out to be pottery. Just call him a wild and crazy guy...Janet shines a light, Teal'c sucks a thermometer, and oh, Daniel nearly dies (depending on what that weapon did). Only he's in a time loop. So he doesn't.

Watergate -
Daniel studies at the Jack O'Neill School for the Socially Inept, so Deanna Troi puts him in his place. Harry warms up to working with Jack. Daniel nearly dies (threat of implosion/sucked in by watery lifeform things). Only he doesn't.

The First Ones -
Daniel experiments with bondage, and Teal'c learns to decipher complex instructions. Most importantly, SG-1 upgrade to P-90's. Daniel nearly dies (about to be attacked by Unas). Only he doesn't.

Scorched Earth -
Jack and Sam study fuzzy orange things. Daniel nearly dies (about to be blown up by Jack's order). Only he doesn't.

Beneath the Surface -
Jack and Sam sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G...except they don't. D'oh!

Point of No Return -
Stanford Blatch meets Murray; sparks fly. Proof at last that Daniel is The Thinker.

Tangent -
Teal'c and Jack bond the only way they can: by dying. Daniel becomes that guy behind the curtain we're supposed to ignore, and Sam gives Major Davis plently to think about. Naturally, Jacob turns up to save the day.

The Curse -
Sam turns Jack down AGAIN; in his grief he turns to Teal'c for comfort. And thus a dozen fics were born...Janet and Sam both star in Lawrence of Arabia, and guess what? Daniel nearly dies (ribbon device). Only he doesn't.

The Serpent's Venom -
This is mine, that's mine, dodge mine. Teal'c makes an unscheduled visit to the Robes 'R Us sale. And hey; Apophis doesn't die.

Chain Reaction -
Jack's much closer to George's grandkids than we realised, and Sam tells the new General how it's done. Starsky and Hutch are born.

2010 -
Sam marries someone who isn't Jack. A million shippers have nightmares for the rest of their lives. Teal'c discovers Robes 'R Us *still* provide good quality products for low, low prices.

Absolute Power -
EvilDaniel (TM) The Sequel!: Shifu The Vorlon.

The Light -
Daniel and Jack show how busy and commited to their jobs they are by betting about Sam. She's less than pleased.

Prodigy -
The most irritating girl in the entire world corrects Sam. She. Must. Die.

Entity -
Jack kills his girl. Sam looks fantastic even when zatted and brain dead. How is that fair?

Double Jeopardy -
Frustratingly, we discover absolutely nothing about the androids. Still, at least Daniel's head gets blown off. Which is too cool.

Exodus -
Sam is nervous about her first time, and Teal'c gets shocked from behind. Tanith is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. And hey; Apophis isn't dead.