Anything Stupid
by Suz

Disclaimer - MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.

This one's a sequel to 'Fourth Time Lucky'.

Spoilers for 'The Broca Divide', 'Solitudes', 'Point of View', 'Seth', 'The Devil You Know', 'Nemesis' and 'Upgrades'.

Episode insertion for 'Upgrades'. Set when they're locked up, probably before they go to O'Malley's.

PG-13 for language and some sexual implication. Having a hard time keeping it below PG-13. Let me know if I fail ;)


This was not good. This was *so* not good.

He was hot, he was sweating and his mind kept wandering...

No, nope, no way. Let's not even think about that. About *her*.

Jack wiped a hand over his face as he lay across the table. He was on his back with his knees bent and his feet planted firmly on the table. Of course he wasn't alone. Daniel was here. As was...

That person he wasn't thinking about.

God, why was it so hot?

Why was he so aware of her? She was ten feet away, she wasn't even next to him, but he could hear every breath she took, see when she licked her lips, watch every time her brow scrunched up when she was thinking over some problem...

He felt pretty bad about Siler. He was a good guy, a capable sergeant but thanks to Jack's carelessness he was lying in the infirmary.

This was good. He needed to keep thinking about this.

His actions belied his thoughts. If he tipped his head back he could see her by the laptop - she was always working on that thing. So, despite his internal argument, he tipped his head back.

She was staring at him.


They both averted their eyes at the same time, jerking their heads away as if suddenly finding something else fascinating. Well that didn't mean anything, right? She was just looking at him...with a very interesting expression on her face. The same expression he probably had on his face right now.

Okay, this had to be the work of the virus the armbands had put into their bodies. She'd never look at him like that otherwise.



You're right Jack. You have to be. You're screwed if you're not.

Yes, he was right. The armbands were clearly having an effect on everyone's judgement so they were in here where they couldn't harm anyone or do anything stupid.

Anything stupid.

Something stupid.

Something stupid he really really wanted to do.

Oh, God...

Crap, had he actually groaned?

"Jack, you okay?"

Shit! That confirmed it then. "Fine," He croaked, sounding pathetically needy.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine Daniel!" Why wouldn't he just leave him alone? He couldn't talk, he couldn't do anything other than concentrating on not doing anything. As it was it was taking all of his frantically disintegrating willpower to stay right where he was. To not move off the table. To-

"All right, geez..."


It was all too easy remembering the last time they had kissed - and it was the last time as in the last time ever because it would never happen again.

He'd spent the months since Netu forcing it out of his head and doing a pretty good job of it, even if he did say so himself. Okay, so he invited her to go fishing, but it wasn't like he only invited her. Nope, he asked Daniel first. And if Teal'c had been there he would have asked him too. Of course, that didn't explain the deep feeling of disappointment when she'd said no, or his sudden rise of excitement when she ran after him and she'd changed her mind, he absolutely knew she'd changed her mind...

And then Thor happened. That guy had *the* worse timing.

Realising what this might be saying about him, he sighed. He was in trouble. Lots of it.

That was it. He wasn't going to let this little fascination of his go any further. If he couldn't stop it completely, he'd just have to settle for what it was: an interest that was a little bit more unprofessional than it should be. It wasn't as if he'd act on it. Even now, with the virus from the armbands pumping through his veins, he was starting to feel calmer. More in control. Yes. Yes it was clear that the effects of the virus were wearing off.

Daniel was standing up, moving to the door. He banged on it once and a SF opened it up.

"I need to use the bathroom," He announced.

Shit! This was so not happening! He couldn't leave him in here, not alone with her. Not in a locked room with no one else and a door that was locked and no one except him and her and a floor that could be used for a multitude of purposes. He tried to shout at him, tried to beg the man not to leave, or at least let him go with him.

Naturally, he didn't actually say anything. He remained where he was - sprawled out on the table, gawking at the door.

Had he...done that on purpose? Had he actually left them alone in here on purpose?



But he could still escape. Daniel had left and the door had quickly shut behind him, but he could zip over there and give the same excuse. He needed to use the bathroom desperately, which of course he didn't but he'd say just about anything to get out of the room right now.

The door locked, the sound reverberating around the room.

The temperature went up by ten degrees.

Okay, ice, ice, water, other very cold things. Glaciers, Antarctica...lying next to Carter in Antarctica-


That was it. He was getting out of the room right now. Off the table in less that a second he zoomed towards the door-

Only to discover that Carter had zoomed towards the door at exactly the same moment. Before either of them realised it they came crashing into each other and ended up sprawled on the floor.

It took a few moments for his equilibrium to settle down and by the time he actually recognised that she was lying on top of him, their lips were already meeting.

This was nothing like the earlier kisses. The first one had been entirely - okay, mostly - one sided. The second had been strangely not real, the third one had been with the other Sam, the fourth one had been Blood-of-Sokar-induced, and okay, this one may have been influenced by the virus but this time it was both of them it was desperate it was-


No gentleness about this one, none at all. He only realised as he yanked at her top and her hands were under his that the virus - as well as increasing their natural abilities - had no doubt increased all their senses.

Oh God, had they increased their senses...

They rolled over, discovering a chair in their way. One or both of them pushed it away, not caring that because of their increased strength it hit the wall on the other side of the room and splintered into a dozen pieces.

He knew this was wrong. He told himself it was wrong as their lips met repeatedly, as he kicked the table out of the way, every time she touched any part of him. He knew.

But for these few precious moments, he really didn't care.

The door beeped.

Someone had just swiped their pass.

Someone was about to walk in.

By the time the door opened a few seconds later, they'd managed to get the room pretty much back into the condition it was before anything happened.

They couldn't say the same for themselves.

As Daniel strolled back in, it was quite obvious that they were breathing heavily, that they were flushed, and that they were sitting as far away from each other as they possibly could. Opposite corners in fact.

Once the door locked behind him, Daniel looked at the remnants of what used to be the chair he'd been sitting on. "Wow. What happened to my chair?"

Had his own conscience not stopped him, Jack would have killed him. As it was he grabbed his arm. "Don't!"

Daniel backed up against the wall. "Woah! What? What did I do?!"

"Why the hell did you leave the room?"

"Because I had to go the toilet, okay?! If you've got a problem with that take it out on my bladder, not me!"

Releasing him, Jack stepped away and covered his face with his hands. He could be such a jackass sometimes. "I'm sorry."

Stepping away from the wall, Daniel rubbed at his arm. "It's okay."

Whirling back, Jack pointed at him. "Just stay here, okay?"

"Okay," The younger man was obviously confused, but no one was about to give him an explanation.

Hell, if he couldn't decipher for himself what had been going on he didn't deserve an explanation.

With nothing else to say, Daniel found an undamaged chair to sit in, and frowned when he saw the large dent in the table.

Jack retreated back to his corner and although he tried so, so hard not to look at her eventually he did. She was nodding at something. Following her gaze he winced when he saw what she was looking at.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

With everything that had happened...his lips were still burning, his heart was still pounding, his shirt was still untucked...he'd completely forgotten about the security camera.



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