Summary: Urgo is bored, and would much rather see them do something else...
Disclaimer: Characters belong to MGM, Gekko, whoever…just not me.
Author's Notes: I make no excuses for this. A short, cheap, shallow and obvious ploy to get them to do something. Way hey! Okay, a little snippet that COULD have been in the episode 'Urgo' if you're desperate enough (I am today). Set in the scene in the infirmary, just after Urgo persuades Teal'c to have a go with the defribillators...(I don't care about spelling today, either).
"This place is so boring!" Urgo grinned as he spoke, clearly having an idea of what to do to make things more 'exciting'. Lifting up his hands and waving them about dramatically - which Jack was sure was for show and nothing else - Urgo spoke to Daniel. "Kiss Samantha, kiss Samantha..."
"Hey!" Jack and Sam exclaimed at the same moment.
"What did he say?" Janet demanded.
Looking as if he were hypnotised, Daniel merely leaned towards Sam.
Yelping, she pulled away before he made contact. "No offense Daniel, but I'd really prefer it if you didn't kiss me, okay?"
Eyes wide, Daniel suddenly jumped away from her. "God, I'm sorry! That wasn't me! That was him." He pointed towards Urgo trying valiantly to push the blame onto someone else.
Fraiser scribbled down some notes on a chart.
"It's okay Daniel," Jack reassured him, then turned his attention to the frighteningly realistic hallucination. "Look, you can't force us to do those kinds of things, Urgo. It's wrong."
Urgo deliberately looked too innocent. "Oh, that wasn't what you were thinking just a moment ago..."
Jack frowned. "Yes it was."
"Okay," Urgo conceded. "It's one of the things you were thinking just a moment ago." Grinning, almost evilly, he again waved his hands about before pointing them at Jack. "Kiss Samantha..."
Jack moved. Sam's eyes widened.
Fraiser lifted her head. "Oh I think I see where this is going..."
Sam managed to speak just as O'Neill grabbed her upper arms. "Sir!"
He paused, blinking. "Carter?"
She nodded carefully. "You can fight this, sir. He doesn't control us. It's just a suggestion."
He nodded in return, slowly. "Yes. Yes."
"Should I step in here?" Fraiser asked, grabbing an injection of sedative.
"No, no it's all right Janet," Sam told her. "We won't need that. Will we sir?"
Jack's grip loosened, his control returning. "No we won't." He smirked, relieved.
Urgo suddenly appeared next to them. "Kiss Samantha, kiss Samantha..."
His grip returned. He tried not to move.
"It's just a suggestion," Sam reminded him.
"It's...a...very...strong one," He replied, clearly fighting against it as Urgo kept repeating the suggestion.
"Come on Colonel," Sam tried to joke. "I'm sure your Black Ops training is perfectly suited for this kind of situation."
"What?" He managed a grin. "Being...brainwashed into kissing your...second in command? Strangely enough, that was never a...problem with...Kawalsky."
Urgo stopped talking.
For all of two seconds.
Clearly having re-thought his strategy, he concentrated on a new target: Sam. "Kiss Jack, kiss Jack..."
Letting go of her, O'Neill started to pull away. She grabbed his wrist.
She stared at him. "Sir,"
"It's just a suggestion."
"I know that. I know the device implanted in my brain that manifests itself as the man standing next to us is merely suggesting that I kiss you. My mind knows very well that the impulse isn't real, but my body doesn't seem to."
Urgo went in with a double assault: "Kiss each other."
Janet walked over to Daniel "What's happening now?"
"He...uh...he's telling them to kiss."
The 'both' in question clutched at each others arms, trying to move closer together while simultaneously trying to move apart.
Teal'c spoke. "I have a suggestion."
Urgo paused his chanting to say, "Yes, you're absolutely right," before continuing.
Teal'c lifted an eyebrow.
Daniel turned his attention away from the curious sight of Jack and Sam trying to both kiss and not kiss each other. "What's the idea?"
"Perhaps if they relent and give this 'individual' what he wants, he will stop trying to influence their actions."
Janet shrugged. "If you think it will work."
Daniel looked as lost as she did. "Well, Urgo himself did say that it would work. I can't see how it would make things worse, and we really don't have anything to lose..."
Obviously having overhead, Jack spoke up. "Doc?"
She rushed over and stood next to them. "Yes Colonel?"
"Can you...guarantee that your report...will reflect the fact that this is not a breach of protocol, doesn't break regulations...and was the only viable way to get this... madman...to leave us alone?"
"Consider it done, Colonel. Frankly - from the little I've seen - I'm amazed that you and the Major have been able to hold out this-"
They were already kissing.
Everyone who was watching lifted their eyebrows and leant closer for a better look, including Urgo.
When it was over, Sam and Jack quickly pulled apart and looked at each other, stunned. Urgo was no longer chanting. In fact, he was beaming proudly.
"Well," Sam cleared her throat. "I guess the Doctor was right about the device enhancing our senses."
O'Neill didn't say anything. He just nodded.
"Ah, actually I wasn't," Urgo gleefully pointed out. "But if you'd like to do it again I can-"
Urgo stared at Carter intently, then smiled. "Major! I'd never have expected such naughty thoughts to come from that brilliant mind."
Sam turned several shades of red.
Smirking, Jack faced her and opened his mouth to make some smart-ass comment when Urgo interrupted.
"You I expect it from. And what is that fascination with ears about?"
Jack cleared his throat, trying not to look at his audience as Daniel smiled, Teal'c looked less tense, and Sam lifted her eyebrows.
Fraiser stared back at him. "What what?"
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