season five

contains spoilers

Enemies -
Apophis isn't dead, then he is, then he isn't, and then he is. Sam knows how to have fun, Jack and Daniel play with their ball, and Teal'c starts working for his old boss (but will he get retroactive pay?). Naturally, Jacob saves the day.

Threshold -
Bra'tac kicks ass! Then he grabs a symbiote. Teal'c takes his shirt off. Janet threatens to resign - and means it.

Ascension -
The Young Indiana Jones tells Sam he loves her before becoming a Vorlon. Jack gets jealous, Teal'c becomes Honky Tonk Jaffa, and both indulge in a spot of jello wrestling. Another one bites the dust.

The Fifth Man -
RDA's Legend guest star/Q causes trouble. Sam would prefer to get her head blown off before leaving Jack behind. The unbelievably cute Lt Tyler wins our hearts - and we can actually see his.

Red Sky -
SG-1 meet a new Asgard. Jack comments on their little grey butts. Daniel tries to convince the townsfolk. Sam makes a boo-boo. Teal'c begins to fade into nothingness.

Rite of Passage -
Janet ROCKS!

Beast of Burden -
The unbelievably cute Lt Tyler wins our hearts - under latex. Sam instinctively relieves Jack of his pack. EvilDaniel (TM) returns - just slightly - and nearly dies (zatted/fire sticked/threatened with gun). Only he doesn't.

The Tomb -
The Russians come. Unsurprisingly, Jack isn't a happy camper. But then neither is that guy who gets trapped in the door. Ick!

Between Two Fires -
Narim becomes worryingly obsessive, Travell has cleavage, Jack and Teal'c must hold hands, and George always knows the right thing to say. Tanith is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. Another one bites the dust.

2001 -
Sam's husband-to-be arrives at the base. While millions of shippers go into stress-induced hibernation, Melon turns nasty, Jack is intercepted, and Sam makes one hell of an entrance. Another one bites the dust. Daniel nearly dies (collapsing building). Only he doesn't.

Desperate Measures -
RDA's Legend guest star/Q causes trouble. Jack goes after his girl, Harry warns him to prepare for the worst, George uses the right tone of voice, Daniel makes us laugh with his electrocution story, and Teal'c gets yet another new hat. Sam gropes Jack.

Wormhole X-treme! -
A documentary about the production of a cable science fiction show. Stanford and Murray are reunited.

Proving Ground -
Haley returns and is much less irritating. The very cute (RIP) Elliot appears. Jack bleeds all over Sam's lab, Daniel gets the comfy chair, and Teal'c gets the magnifying glass.

48 Hours -
RDA's Legend guest star/Q causes trouble. Teal'c gets trapped in the transporter buffer. Jack actually tries to understand what Sam is talking about. The Continuing Adventures of Starsky and Hutch: special guest star, Butch Cassidy. Tanith is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. But not for long.

Summit -
Daniel's a slave for Yu.

Last Stand -
Sam is told that he loves her. Unfortunately, Jack's not there at the time. The Goa'uld partake of a cannibalistic All You Can Eat Buffet. Naturally, Jacob saves the day. Another two bite the dust. Daniel nearly dies (attacked by Osiris/trapped inside escape pod). Only he doesn't.

Fail Safe -
Jack insults Freyr's mother, then has his hands all over Sam. SG-1 came, saw, planted the bomb and had a little fun with an asteroid shower - it's a great story! Yeah, Teal'c didn't think so either...

The Warrior -
Bra'tac kicks ass! Teal'c introduces his mentor to the wonders of Robes 'R Us and finally earns himself a loyalty card in the process. Sam shows men everywhere how it's done. Peter DeLuise steals from The Matrix.

Menace -
Jack suggests Daniel kisses her. The auto-destruct doesn't actually reach '1'. Hammond gets into BDU's. Daniel nearly dies (annoyed android). Only he doesn't.

The Sentinel -
Sam and Jack are on opposite sides of a force field, one of them moments from death...hey, wait a minute!

Meridian -
Daniel dies. Really. And then becomes a Vorlon. Parker Lewis *will* lose if certain people have anything to do with it.

Revelations -
Thor! He's too cute! And being tortured! Eep! Janet becomes a new person. Sam is PO'd at Jack (hee). Daniel gets a second job as an automatic hand dryer.

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