season three

contains spoilers

Into the Fire -
Bra'tac kicks ass! George gets into BDU's and performs his Texas Mating Call. Sam and Jack hug for much longer than is necessary. Teal'c buys in bulk from Robes 'R Us for his followers, and receives a further discount. Daniel nearly dies (zat gun pointed at his head). Only he doesn't.

Seth -
SG-1 become followers of a Goa'uld that looks suspiciously like a porn star (come on...leather jacket, long hair, beard, gaudy *can't* be just me). Jack frets about having his bits snipped, calls Jacob 'Dad', then falls at the feet of the Holy Dorothy. Daniel nearly dies (exploding bomb). Only he doesn't.

Fair Game -
Thor! He's too cute! Sam goes up in the world (promoted), Jack goes up in the world (literally), Teal'c goes down in the world (unconcious on the floor), and Daniel grovels when he really has to.

Legacy -
SG-1 discover gate travel could be hazardous to your health. Daniel doesn't nearly die, but gets to watch Janet undress. Which may provoke much the same feeling.

Learning Curve -
Jack encounters a genius who's actually younger than Sam. Stunned, he must re-evaluate his entire belief system.

Point of View -
Sam and Jack are married! Okay, it's an alternate Sam and Jack. And he's dead. Teal'c kills himself, Kawalsky is still alive, and Apophis has a glued on beard a la evil Original Trek people. Even more scary, Jack has to deal with a PO'd Sam when he gets back. Daniel nearly dies (zatted once; about to be zatted again). Only he doesn't.

Deadman Switch -
Boba Fett captures SG-1, and demands their help in trapping a Goa'uld in exchange for their freedom. Daniel discovers he's worth more than he thought he was, and that Jack's a pain in the mik'ta.

Demons -
Teal'c's symbiote becomes a convenient plot device. Jack chews some straw, and Sam discovers his sidearm is missing.

Rules of Engagement -
Jack and Sam put their warpaint on. Teal'c gets that old rush of power. A poor young man is subjected to tuna fish torture.

Forever In a Day -
Daniel almost dies (hand device). Repeatedly.

Past and Present -
Samantha Mulder in a very bad wig (at least, I *pray* it's a wig) becomes Daniel's rebound chick. Jack sings 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' long before it was released.

Jolinar's Memories -
Sam doesn't get any, but she remembers getting some. Which is almost as good. And hey; Apophis isn't dead.

The Devil You Know -
Jack defends Sam and gets shot for his trouble. Teal'c gets to work with Aldwyn - who may be an ass, but he's *hot*!

Foothold -
Sam totally kicks butt throughout this entire episode. Hey - she kills Jack. How can you *not* love that? And best of all...Evil Janet! Eep!

Pretense -
Sam's cat returns home after an eighteen month absence. Jack and Daniel defend Skaara against a Goa'uld wearing a really stupid hat. Lya and Teal'c create magic together. Narim assumes Sam has 'another'. Odd, that.

Urgo -
In the newly named 'Dom DeLuise Show', Dom makes SG-1 sing, hungry, and annoyed.

A Hundred Days -
Jack becomes Earth's first intergalactic sperm donor, Janet wonders if there's a problem, and Teal'c is one stubborn offspring of a female canine.

Shades of Grey -
Jack goes bad. Yeah, RIGHT! Still, at least he gets to hurt Sam, and it provides an opportunity for Harry to come back.

New Ground -
Daniel entertains us with Advanced Miming for Generals.

Maternal Instinct -
Bra'tac kicks ass! Daniel meets the Vorlons. And hey; Apophis isn't dead.

Crystal Skull -
Daniel's self-esteem takes a blow when he's sure that everyone is ignoring him. Siler thinks Rothman's going to get fired. Jack carries his girl home.

Nemesis -
Thor! He's too cute! Will SG-1 save the day? Will Major Davis ever get a first name? Will Sam ever go fishing? Will Daniel's appendix scar ever be seen again?

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